As long as you hold yourself and others in judgment, you will never experience true freedom from your addiction. Then this quote, combined with the song, took my heart away: It is one thing to acknowledge that we’ve been hurt by others, but it’s another thing to hold on to being a victim.”4 It’s because we have embraced or held onto the identity of being a victim. “Why is it so easy to hold onto our resentments and judgments of others? Desmond Tutu made reference to why we don’t forgive. Remaining in the state (of unforgiveness) locks you in a state of victimhood, making you almost dependent on the perpetrator.” Reconciliation comes from the perpetrator by apologizing and askingįor forgiveness. There is no need for participation from the perpetrator. “ Forgivenesscomes from the one hurt, by cancelling the DEBT owed. And sometimes He exposes what we are convinced would make Him turn away in disgust in order to amaze us with His grace. He looks at us with eyes of delight, with eyes that see a goodness beneath the mess, with a heart that beats wildly with excitement over who we are and who we will become. Rather than entering the dark places of our souls with a flashlight and a scalpel, intent on repairing what’s wrong, He enters with a flashlight and a smile, eager to let us see how HE feels about us even when we stand exposed in His presence…. “Neither does God tinker with our old nature, the tangled system of God-doubting, self-protective, pain denying passions within us that the Bible calls our flesh.
The next morning, as I was listening to my worship playlist (always on shuffle!), God chose to play an older song that reinforced Monday’s discussion and really struck me (see the song links). And more “false doctrine” I’m sure, but you get the picture.Can I? Should I? Isn’t that just more selfishness? After all the pain I’ve caused my family and friends, how can I do that? Forgiveness is for others, not for myself. Forgiving myself for the hurt & mess and turmoil (understatement of the century) isn’t important.Forgiveness and reconciliation are synonymous.Once “a thing” is forgiven it’s gone and can’t be brought up again.It’s for the recipient so we feel better – “Please forgive me,” we ask.Every time this lesson comes up it re-resonates with me because for years I had a serious misunderstanding of forgiveness:
Recently, in a Pure Desire 7 Pillars of Freedom group I facilitate, the lesson was titled, “Loving, Accepting & Forgiving.” I know from that discussion as well as my own journey, forgiveness can be a difficult topic. A number of quotes impacted me recently so I borrowed them and it got a little out of hand.
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Learn how to tackle this issue with confidence, clarity, and biblical perspective.To begin, let me apologize for the length of this blog. The time is now to begin walking in victory and help others to do the same.
If you, someone you love, or someone you are counseling struggles with sexual addiction, Pure Desire is an anchor amid rough waters and the offer of a new appreciation for Christ's healing power and presence. Here is hope for establishing healthy personal boundaries with proven, practical applications to claim Christ's healing power and presence, perhaps for the first time. And, this book is for the Church to come alongside those who have come to them for help. This book is also for the shattered souls of mates who are puzzled, shamed, and wounded by their husband's or wife's sexual bondage and secret life. Pure Desire is the answer to this desperate cry for help from men and women who have tried to build sexual holiness into their lives and failed.and failed.and failed. Millions of victims are trapped in the struggle of sexual addiction with no apparent way out.
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Hope and Healing to Break Free From Sexual Addiction
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